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Besides, the best revenge is living well and there’s nothing quite like seeing the underdog succeed despite all of his or her disadvantages. The cognitive dissonance Now, I’m going to be blunt: dating can suck when you’re fat.
Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.
Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.
Now we could dwell on the fact that these various winners are not gym-sculpted Adonnises themselves, but instead I want to focus on the positive and work on people’s lives instead of trying to stroke the hate-boner.
Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.Since American men are getting fatter at about the same rate as American women it’s reasonable to ask if this neck and neck race to the fattest helps keep the dating market balanced and the prospects for finding love equal between the sexes. Men are much more visually driven than women when judging the opposite sex for mate worthiness and rolls of fertility-concealing blubber that disfigure a woman’s natural hourglass shape and sexually arousing appearance will harm her attractiveness to men a lot worse than being overweight will harm a man’s attractiveness to women. A rich or smart or funny guy who is 30 pounds overweight will have an easier time in the dating market than a kind and sweet and personable woman overweight by the same amount.Guys have many more compensatory qualities they can bring to the table to neutralize the disadvantage of being fat, whereas fat women, no matter how well cultivated their other attributes, cannot win over the men they want without lowering their standards to the basement or accepting a life of constant pump and dumps from players on the prowl for easy noncommital sex.But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.